Lay with me.

the cool breath against my cheek.

my body wrapped up in your warmth.

the simple gesture of being there,

saying “i’ll always be there.”


face to face,

eye to eye.

our hands seem to intertwine into infinity.

there’s no need to dream because this is it.


forever is ours to keep.



Mission Accomplished. Last night is exactly what i needed…even though there were no jaggerbombs, it’s all goooooood. 


But seriously, walking in 4 1/2 inch heels while lit should be a sport. I don’t know how i did it without falling or tripping. I wasn’t even close to falling. Best part of the night? My friends parents showing up at the thai restaurant we were eating at. We totally tried acting normal, apparently it worked. 

Love my girls. ❤

Giving Up

What if we stop having a ball?

What if the paint chips from the wall?

What if there’s always cups in the sink?

What if i’m not what you think i am?


What if I fall further than you?

What if you dream of somebody new?

What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?

Well what if I do?



I am giving up on making passes and

I am giving up on half empty glasses and

I am giving up on greener grasses.

I am giving up.

-Ingrid Michaelson

Just one of them days.

You are so lucky and i’m so happy for you. I’ve wanted this day to come when both you and him would just realize that you’re meant to be in each others lives. You’ve had many tears and heartbreaks because of him and i’m sure he’s cried himself and has had many many heartbreaks because of you. And because of fate, you two were forced to see each other. Now it’s almost a happy ending. You two are cute, and it’s a genuine love what you two have. I tear up whenever you say “suzan, i really love him.”

I’m not going to lie, as much as i’m happy for you because you deserve it so much…i am jealous. it’s only normal that i am. 

This person is so close yet so far far far away from me. I keep running back and i force myself to run forward to forget about it. Because it’s like “face it” there’s nothing there. My heart breaks just thinking about it because i love that we’re friends, and i would never trade anything for our friendship. But at those times when i see you, it hurts to see that damn cute smile of yours because i can’t help but smile and say hello. i’ll admit, and as cliche as it sounds, my heart melts and then breaks into pieces. I’ll never be yours…and you’ll never be mine. That’s just the way it is. 

I want that genuine love for you, but i can’t love you until i know how to love myself.


Torn between two. I never thought that would happen. 

But i can honestly say that i care. I genuinely care for you. So much that when i hear you’re hurt, my heart breaks in to a million pieces. 

I’m not in love, like, crush, or infatuation. I don’t know what it is.

What’s weird is that i’m not bothered by the fact that i don’t know what this feeling is.


All i know is that my face lights up when i see you, talk to you, or overhear your name being said by someone afar.


I woke up at 6am crying to an unexpected dream.

It felt so real…i had to second guess myself when i woke up. 


even though thinking about the dream makes my heart break, i’m glad you were the main character.

i’ll never change.

A vicious cycle that seems to never end. No matter how many pep talks i go through, i’ll never change.

At that moment, i think “great, this is great. it’s a good thing. take the risk.”

I slowly deteriorate into this nothingness and i feel worthless. 

My life will forever be filled with ups and downs; who’s isn’t?

but these ups and downs will keep me scared…scared to open up.