yearning for something

my self loathing moment has once again come to surface and i can’t get this dream out of my head. i am not a new york person…i mean i don’t think i am. i’d love to visit and see the massive city and what it has to offer but in no way do i think i’d ever fit in. but right now, i have this pitiful yearning that is nagging at my soul and it’s telling me, “i wonder what it would be like to live in new york city for a while?” even if it was for 2 weeks. new york city streets are flashing before my eyes and i’m loving it.

and yet i can’t get up to do my laundry or visit the genius bar at the apple store. this lazy period needs to pass very soon.

again.

again,

i’m thinking too much about it again.

something so small and unimportant,

but i can’t help myself to over think.

and now i can’t concentrate on anything else

but that one thing. again.

unexpected.

i should be sleeping

but i can’t stop thinking.

did that just really happen?

i can still smell your cologne on my hands.

summer morning

i’m up early today.

and as i stare at my walls,

my clean white walls, which are complimented by my rothko poster, sarah spitler painting, & my pen pals photography,

i am happy.

my 21st birthday balloons are scattered on the floor,

and as i am listening to my all time favorite songs,

i am happy.