yearning for something

my self loathing moment has once again come to surface and i can’t get this dream out of my head. i am not a new york person…i mean i don’t think i am. i’d love to visit and see the massive city and what it has to offer but in no way do i think i’d ever fit in. but right now, i have this pitiful yearning that is nagging at my soul and it’s telling me, “i wonder what it would be like to live in new york city for a while?” even if it was for 2 weeks. new york city streets are flashing before my eyes and i’m loving it.

and yet i can’t get up to do my laundry or visit the genius bar at the apple store. this lazy period needs to pass very soon.

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again.

again,

i’m thinking too much about it again.

something so small and unimportant,

but i can’t help myself to over think.

and now i can’t concentrate on anything else

but that one thing. again.

summer morning

i’m up early today.

and as i stare at my walls,

my clean white walls, which are complimented by my rothko poster, sarah spitler painting, & my pen pals photography,

i am happy.

my 21st birthday balloons are scattered on the floor,

and as i am listening to my all time favorite songs,

i am happy.