ex xx

Quiet winds outside my window

it whispers a scream of yearning.

Hear the curls and twists of an organic truth,

the pain of pleasure it is.

The Tear.

a rolling thunder that is silent like the wind

every note pressed against my cheek like a puzzle.

my body is still and frozen as though i am in a freezer.

not cold, not hot…just numb from this thing in my heart.

this thing that i have no words for.

as the thunder rolled down and down

it slipped

and found a home to the cracks of my lips.

a salted sea of love and fear and worry

and forever.

words cannot even describe how i feel for you.

words that have not yet turned into coherent material feelings for you.

it’s somewhere deep down inside but i won’t let it float to the top.

drowning and suffocating because i’m just too afraid.

i don’t know how you truly feel about me.

if it’s for real or if it’s “just at the moment”…i really don’t know.

i know you’ll never tell me your feelings.

i know one day you’ll stop talking to me and i won’t be hurt cause you’ve done it before.

i know i’m confused and in denial. i know. but it’s who i am.

1. The Bell Jar

2. My Sister’s Keeper

3. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

4. Seven days in the Art World

5. The Historian (i will finish it this time..i hope)

6. The Fountainhead

7. The Great Gatsby (for the second time)

8. Eat, Pray, Love

9. The Time Traveler’s Wife

this book list will keep me busy.

any suggestions for great reads?