once.

Your face. It’s engulfed in the black of the night and somehow i can still find you. Even when i don’t even try. 

Your inner lullaby screams out towards me and i shed a tear because it’s a habit. A habit i never want to break.

Melancholy melodies that open my heart to you is not so rare anymore. It’s almost like a drug. Everyday. Every night. I don’t even know my true feelings.

It’s the tug-of-war that my heart is in, but no one is on the other side pulling. 

Daydream and dream at night. Those are my escape routes. I expect myself to drown in them one day and just sleep for all eternity. 

Buckets and buckets of stories in the light of the sky. i want to know them all. I want to live them all. 

I’m falling slowly and i’m hoping you’ll catch me…just once.

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Alone.

listen & read

to a place you know so well.

but not well enough.

the ins and outs of streets.

being alone never felt so good.

soak it up. everything.

the sun

the art

the people

the sights

the smells

the sounds

the beauty.

with every step and every corner

a breath of fresh air enters my mind.

excitement and adventure is all i see.

all i need is this.

this happiness that is so hard to describe.

alone.

cold hearted bitch.

more than before, the wind has gotten fiercer.

the sun chooses not to kiss her face.

her heart has turned cold.

 

not the city.

not the loves of her life.

don’t worry. she’s warm all over.

 

rest assured. it’s not what you think.

on the day, smiles are everywhere.

her heart is full of love and happiness.

 

but…

 

10 percent is not.

it’s cold. too afraid to touch the surface of heat.

her heart & mind no longer think like charlotte york.

it thinks of absolutely nothing.

 

no more butterflies to fill the pit of her stomach.

all she can see is reality laid out in front of her.

and the reality is…

 

10 percent of my loving happy heart has morphed

into a cold hearted bitch.