Just one of them days.

You are so lucky and i’m so happy for you. I’ve wanted this day to come when both you and him would just realize that you’re meant to be in each others lives. You’ve had many tears and heartbreaks because of him and i’m sure he’s cried himself and has had many many heartbreaks because of you. And because of fate, you two were forced to see each other. Now it’s almost a happy ending. You two are cute, and it’s a genuine love what you two have. I tear up whenever you say “suzan, i really love him.”

I’m not going to lie, as much as i’m happy for you because you deserve it so much…i am jealous. it’s only normal that i am. 

This person is so close yet so far far far away from me. I keep running back and i force myself to run forward to forget about it. Because it’s like “face it” there’s nothing there. My heart breaks just thinking about it because i love that we’re friends, and i would never trade anything for our friendship. But at those times when i see you, it hurts to see that damn cute smile of yours because i can’t help but smile and say hello. i’ll admit, and as cliche as it sounds, my heart melts and then breaks into pieces. I’ll never be yours…and you’ll never be mine. That’s just the way it is. 

I want that genuine love for you, but i can’t love you until i know how to love myself.


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