Thin Air

Stay still

That picture, that perfect picture

You hung up on the wall

You told me you dreamt it

You can even smell it in the air

Floating by

Like the clouds you dried

Out on the old clothesline

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Max

Max was his name. Everything about him seemed to come from a person I once met—everything but his name. How could someone I briefly met and turned away from show up in a dream filled with my past memories? Even in a dream he left a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. His controlling ways masked behind sweet, kind words were far from hidden.

See

You know those days where you just see things in the color grey?

Well, you see it wasn’t just a grey day for me.

Every day was a day where I could not breathe.

I could not catch my breath and see the life in front of me.

 

Do you have those dreams?

Of what you anticipate the next day to bring?

Every Sunday was mine.

Hoping Monday wouldn’t arrive.

 

Every day I wished it to be the next.

Memorizing the motions of daily strife.

To repeat the same weeks that had just gone by.

I believed I had already died.

 

But now, thanks to your beauty in disguise, I am back to life.

Back to the old me I yearned to retrieve.

As ugly as you are, there is no vengeance in my heart.

The past will no longer take over me,

For the present & future is all I see.

in progress…

I remember way back when

We used to talk and laugh

Till dawn i’d pray it’d never end

I remember way back when

I used to love you

 

Take me on those walks again

Under streetlights I would wait

Words you’d say i’d take to heart

To this day I cherish every part

 

I wonder if you feel the same

Am I the only one who’s going insane

Why can’t I just shake it off

Guess i’ll have to wait and see 

If our paths will cross

 

Wait

Went looking for something

Had my doubts from the start

Had my heart set on your frown

Don’t watch as I melt to the ground

 

You ask me how’s it going

And it’s true that I lie

Right through my teeth I fib and die

I stare up at the clouds and cry

 

I wonder how you’re doing

Every now and then

Since I left without a word

I think I should confess

 

Can you ever forgive me?

For the way that I was

I was naïve and young

Afraid of these feelings

I still run

 

Give and take is what they say this is

I wait for the day that I’ll change

And stay

But somehow I don’t think that day

Will ever come my way

 

Wait, just wait

I swear I’ll find myself one day

Please give me a moment

To pray

To change

To love