Max was his name. Everything about him seemed to come from a person I once met—everything but his name. How could someone I briefly met and turned away from show up in a dream filled with my past memories? Even in a dream he left a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. His controlling ways masked behind sweet, kind words were far from hidden.



cuddled up in my warm blanket and still in bed.

i woke up and got a phone call…i don’t remember who it was.

but it was so….lovely.

i felt my heart beating so loudly the heavens could hear.

the butterflies in my stomach resurrected from the dead.

and i finally felt that amazing first feeling.

it’s been so long, that i have forgotten.

my heart became a realist & gave up on being an optimist.

too bad i woke up realizing it was all a dream.

a dream so far away that i don’t really believe in it anymore.

I see

the pages are turning and a thrill comes over me.

a slight pain that jerks my heart 

and the sight of candy red drops to my toes.


flashback to years before

my mind is set into that same moment.

what i should have said but i didn’t.

what i could have done but didn’t.


life has changed.

i have changed…for the better.


field of daisies that is my heart

a bunch of balloons that is my soul

the non-existent is what keeps me going.

keeps me hoping,


and living.

Marin Headlands

Spontaneity drives the soul.

and it drove us to here.

Blasting on the speakers with a thump of its own,

90’s slow jams and a whole lot of corrine bailey rae.


We’ve arrived.

one step out and a breeze chills the spine.

My eyes are wandering in so many directions.


To the left is the city. A fogless night was made for this view.

and straight up what do i see? 

The view that i have been yearning for. 


I swear corrine was making the stars dance around my 

eyes just for me.

Still and peaceful, it was like a dream.