Max

Max was his name. Everything about him seemed to come from a person I once met—everything but his name. How could someone I briefly met and turned away from show up in a dream filled with my past memories? Even in a dream he left a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. His controlling ways masked behind sweet, kind words were far from hidden.

Wait

Went looking for something

Had my doubts from the start

Had my heart set on your frown

Don’t watch as I melt to the ground

 

You ask me how’s it going

And it’s true that I lie

Right through my teeth I fib and die

I stare up at the clouds and cry

 

I wonder how you’re doing

Every now and then

Since I left without a word

I think I should confess

 

Can you ever forgive me?

For the way that I was

I was naïve and young

Afraid of these feelings

I still run

 

Give and take is what they say this is

I wait for the day that I’ll change

And stay

But somehow I don’t think that day

Will ever come my way

 

Wait, just wait

I swear I’ll find myself one day

Please give me a moment

To pray

To change

To love

The Beginning

Under the sheets

I hide away

Hoping that this darkness

Will fade

 

Open my eyes

Don’t take my hand

Cause all my fears

Will push you away

 

Tread a little further

Hoping this will get better

As I take a look back

All I see is the beginning

 

Dreaming by day

I stay awake

Waiting for nightfall

To arrive

 

Maybe someday

I’ll look back and I’ll say

Just take a breath

And it will be

Okay

My hunched back,

sore and lifeless body.

As my eyes close and all around me is

darkened, i see myself doing the mundane

tasks of morning.

My head spins and as my heart beats as fast

as it slows down, i become numb.