Max was his name. Everything about him seemed to come from a person I once met—everything but his name. How could someone I briefly met and turned away from show up in a dream filled with my past memories? Even in a dream he left a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. His controlling ways masked behind sweet, kind words were far from hidden.




you are a blur

you are the past

no longer will i be that

it’s your turn

your turn to be anything

anyone you want

to be happy

to do good

to be alive

to live & to love.


Went looking for something

Had my doubts from the start

Had my heart set on your frown

Don’t watch as I melt to the ground


You ask me how’s it going

And it’s true that I lie

Right through my teeth I fib and die

I stare up at the clouds and cry


I wonder how you’re doing

Every now and then

Since I left without a word

I think I should confess


Can you ever forgive me?

For the way that I was

I was naïve and young

Afraid of these feelings

I still run


Give and take is what they say this is

I wait for the day that I’ll change

And stay

But somehow I don’t think that day

Will ever come my way


Wait, just wait

I swear I’ll find myself one day

Please give me a moment

To pray

To change

To love

The Beginning

Under the sheets

I hide away

Hoping that this darkness

Will fade


Open my eyes

Don’t take my hand

Cause all my fears

Will push you away


Tread a little further

Hoping this will get better

As I take a look back

All I see is the beginning


Dreaming by day

I stay awake

Waiting for nightfall

To arrive


Maybe someday

I’ll look back and I’ll say

Just take a breath

And it will be


My hunched back,

sore and lifeless body.

As my eyes close and all around me is

darkened, i see myself doing the mundane

tasks of morning.

My head spins and as my heart beats as fast

as it slows down, i become numb.