this is hard to say. i’ve never realized it before.
this feeling is hard to explain and hard to make true.
i whine and hope for that one thing with my bests.
and now i realize…i might actually be scared.
i’m running away.
wanting to be intrepid isn’t going to help me get over this.
i fear for the worst, and at this point, i’m not so adventurous either.
my heart was open and free.
i feel it slowly closing its mechanical doors on me now.
i’m used to having those random epiphanies of the future and worrying to the point where i want to cry.
those epiphanies are what makes me human, or at least feel human.
now i don’t know if i want my future to happen.
it’s crazy. i know i want my hopes to come true.
but will i ever be ready and jump in?
everyone around me has.
there’s a block of concrete sitting on my dreams of love
and it refuses to budge.