you have no idea what i’m talking about. but i do. and that is what matters.

like the many times i have felt this feeling, every time is like the first time.

what’s to complain about when everything is good in life..not perfect..but good.


stupid infatuations that make me realize the reality of it all.

knowing that i don’t really like you because honestly…nothing will ever happen between you and i.

we are just two different people, and better off as friends.

(i’m laughing inside with embarrassment)


and as much as i dislike your guts right now..and how everytime i think of you

or your name comes up i want to scream…

it’s life, and i’ll have to deal with it my own way. even if that means i’ll have to 

leave the room and having my friends see less of me because you’re around.


on another note..


i hope to God that this “thing” will last because i’m getting tired of quitting.

i want to feel alive and happy every minute of the day 

and if that means being in pain for a couple months…i’ll have to try harder.

trust that this is not for them because i have finally come to realize that it has to be for me.


and i’m not ready…while everyone else has experienced this magic,

i haven’t. 

i’m scared to death of what might happen when the time comes, but i’m sure it’ll be amazing.

but for now, i don’t wish to have that magic. i don’t need that magic. 

because i have better things. friends.


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