it took 20 years, but i’m finally here.

after listening to all the people close to me, i think i’m finally going to listen. i’ve felt this way before, but i think this time it’s different. i’m beginning to believe instead of nodding and replying ” i know, i know.” i think it’s time for me to take my [...]

it was like…magic.

spontaneous trips at night.
an adventure in of itself.
made me realize how much i love it.
in the day time,
in the night time.
i fall in love, each time.
your dazzling lights that seem to go on forever,
accentuate the delicate architecture of the victorian.
 
tonight was so chill. went party hopping after work with my dsw girls. best part? eating [...]

I Like, Sailing Home

i’m sitting here and listening to this melodic electronic amazing sound, and all the while
my mind is my heart and my soul is in front of my body.
my feet feel like they’re dancing and swaying with the beats
but really, they are completely still.
the world is still,
my body is still,
but my mind races.
 

i don’t know you

but when i do,
i hope that i can get lost in your eyes.
i hope that you can make my stomach hurt from laughing.
i hope that i won’t have to hope anymore.

Beautiful Mess

Has this happened before?
This subtle nudge i feel in my heart.
I have felt this before.
It’s the beginning of a beautiful mess
that i don’t want to pick up anymore.
There you will stay, a mess.
We’ll make angels in it and roll around in it.
If i’m lucky enough, i’ll let you in.
Into the mess that is my heart.

Speaking A Dead Language

We built a tall, tall towertowards the sun, towards the suntook some words and built a wallwe called it love, called it loveAnd somewhere in all the talkingthe meaning faded outOh I wonderwhen did it all stop making senseI don’t understandI rememberwe were so sure, so innocentoh but that was thencan we ever go back [...]

Rambles

scattered  paint on the wall,
mixed up and fast paced
on our wall.
it oddly reminds me of us now,
cause our lives have been turned upside down.
what happened?
where did it go,
wrong.
even now i look back and wonder.
what could have been us,
what could of been great,
it was all thrown away.
what seemed to be real,
what seemed to be fate,
it was [...]

..

i don’t know what more i can do.

The Tear.

a rolling thunder that is silent like the wind
every note pressed against my cheek like a puzzle.
my body is still and frozen as though i am in a freezer.
not cold, not hot…just numb from this thing in my heart.
this thing that i  have no words for.
as the thunder rolled down and down
it slipped
and found a [...]

I know.

words cannot even describe how i feel for you.
words that have not yet turned into coherent material feelings for you.
it’s somewhere deep down inside but i won’t let it float to the top.
drowning and suffocating because i’m just too afraid.
i don’t know how you truly feel about me.
if it’s for real or if it’s “just [...]

Blue Sky

you are beautiful. that is what he says.
that cryptic smile he gives is what keeps my heart beating.
yes, the mystery in him is what gives.
an unpredictable scent that follows him like a shadow,
it makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter to no end.
we name the fluffs of water in the blue blue sky,
picking up all [...]

Waiting.

Deep navy blue waters
caressed by white shimmers of the moon.
 
the two ropes keep me in.
 
My two dark black of eyes stare out
as i inhale, they close.
 
Where are you?

Soul

Paper hearts line up on my arm
you put them there.
Cotton daisies are on my doorstep
you sent them here.
Yards of blue yarn
you gave me the ocean.
A thousand candles
you lit the stars in my room.
 
My heart was yours since the day i laid eyes
on your soul.

Till Forever

you left the light on
and i went under the board.
passing through poles
following your breathing.
 
the soothing waters to my left
in a pitch black airy bubble.
pinches of light you gave to me
my soul became yours.
 
closer and closer
i felt for you. 
i touched your heart.
 
electric feels through my bones
and my heart beats till forever.

Marin Headlands

Spontaneity drives the soul.
and it drove us to here.
Blasting on the speakers with a thump of its own,
90’s slow jams and a whole lot of corrine bailey rae.
 
We’ve arrived.
one step out and a breeze chills the spine.
My eyes are wandering in so many directions.
 
To the left is the city. A fogless night was made for [...]

Turn To Stone

let’s take a better look
beyond a story book
and learn our souls are all we own
before we turn to stone.
 
let’s go to sleep with clearer heads
and hearts too big to fit our beds
and maybe we won’t feel so alone
before we turn to stone
 
and if you wait for someone else’s hand
and you will surely fall down
and if [...]

Eureka

After all these months which felt like years,
I finally know for sure what i felt for you.
I fell hard…maybe too hard. 
 
I know it’s only been 2 years
but out of all them,
you were the only one who made my heart drop..and you still do.
 
Everyone else were just attractions and little crushes.
You were neither…you took me by [...]

Lay with me.

the cool breath against my cheek.
my body wrapped up in your warmth.
the simple gesture of being there,
saying “i’ll always be there.”
 
face to face,
eye to eye.
our hands seem to intertwine into infinity.
there’s no need to dream because this is it.
 
forever is ours to keep.

Giving Up

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there’s always cups in the sink?
What if i’m not what you think i am?
 
What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if [...]

Just one of them days.

You are so lucky and i’m so happy for you. I’ve wanted this day to come when both you and him would just realize that you’re meant to be in each others lives. You’ve had many tears and heartbreaks because of him and i’m sure he’s cried himself and has had many many heartbreaks because [...]