it took 20 years, but i’m finally here.

after listening to all the people close to me, i think i’m finally going to listen. i’ve felt this way before, but i think this time it’s different. i’m beginning to believe instead of nodding and replying ” i know, i know.” i think it’s time for me to take my [...]

break out.

i’m starting to slowly break out of my shell. i’ve met so many great new people within the last few months and i’m so thankful for them. they made me realize how fun life can be and how great i can be. i think it’s time i embrace my whole self and believe in myself [...]

it was like…magic.

spontaneous trips at night.
an adventure in of itself.
made me realize how much i love it.
in the day time,
in the night time.
i fall in love, each time.
your dazzling lights that seem to go on forever,
accentuate the delicate architecture of the victorian.
 
tonight was so chill. went party hopping after work with my dsw girls. best part? eating [...]

I Like, Sailing Home

i’m sitting here and listening to this melodic electronic amazing sound, and all the while
my mind is my heart and my soul is in front of my body.
my feet feel like they’re dancing and swaying with the beats
but really, they are completely still.
the world is still,
my body is still,
but my mind races.
 

Wild.

early cartoons,
nothing to do but play and live.
so carefree,
and nothing can touch us.
as we held hands we looked up
and screamed.
so loud we felt the clouds take form
of our imagination.
2 sheets, some pillows, a long stick,
and some tape.
we become invisible.
the bad days don’t exist inside.

Other Side.

the sun,
it shines on the top of our soon to be grown up skins.
beads of sweat drip down as we laugh to our youth.
stomach pains of abs contracting gives us a reason to take a breath,
and continue.
yes, the grass is greener on the other side
but what does it take to get there?

“The only rule is don’t be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.”

I know better now…

i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. i don’t know why.
i don’t know if you’ve ever missed me but i know i’ve missed you.
you were such a big part of my life and
i think that’s why i’ve been mad for such a long time.
but i’m not mad anymore. i’m not the same person you [...]

mon ami

your light,
it shines off of you.
it rolls off of the tip of your fingers
and enters my soul.
your words are profound,
your words give me hope
for a better me.

Internal

this heart, my heart.
it doesn’t care as much anymore.
crush it to pieces and nothing is left
for me to spare.
i want to yell and scream my words
but my words stop me.
a brick wall that grows in my esophagus
yields me to say what i mean.
and what i mean to say is not what my
heart wants to say.
always [...]

crash

…and here comes the crash.
suddenly i feel like a little girl wanting to run and hide under a table.
that was fast.

Hopes are high.

i haven’t felt this way in a very long time. you know, the feeling you get when your hopes are so high that you know it’s going to come crashing down soon. i can’t help but wonder if our meeting was the work of fate or coincidence?
the rush of thoughts going through my brain at [...]

Reasons

one of the reasons why i love San Francisco. free live simulcast of Il Trovatore at AT&T Ball Park. 25,000 people showed up to enjoy opera.

i’m here to stay.

i’ve always said that i’ll stay in san francisco even after i graduate.
but i just realized that i’m actually going to stay in san francisco. i need to.
los angeles will always be my first home. but it’s no place for me anymore.
all the great memories that bring nostalgia are just that; memories.
no more turning back,
the [...]

ici

i’ve been sitting here for the past 20 years and wondering to myself, where are you?
my life may be complete even if your not in it, but i feel the need to have you just to see what the fuss is about.
i’m tired of waiting and i’m tired of not looking for it just so [...]

Smoke

sit down and breathe it in.
listen.
long strings of noise that flutter with every whisper.
fans of palms that act as drums
soothe the inner being of my soul.
listen.
heart beats and laughter echo around
on cold summer night.

summer

this summer has turned out to be one of the best summer’s. spending summer nights with great company and the cool sf breeze rollin’ through the windows. bottles of beer, wine, and sangria. empty plastic bottles left with the aroma of bud. movies, rockband, and blankets. overflow of new music and old. sadly it’s coming [...]

one

i loathe the moments when a rush of salt water flows over my curled lashes.
for when those moments come everything i’ve built up breaks down.
down to the floor where i don’t know how to scoop up the mess i’ve made.
my doubts have become more apparent and my lies have become more believable.

I see

the pages are turning and a thrill comes over me.
a slight pain that jerks my heart 
and the sight of candy red drops to my toes.
 
flashback to years before
my mind is set into that same moment.
what i should have said but i didn’t.
what i could have done but didn’t.
 
life has changed.
i have changed…for the better.
 
field of [...]

TWENTY

happy birthday to me =)